Web Haunts

Wednesday October 8

"Discoveries"

Yes, I am a deliquent on my own darn blog. It's just been so insanely busy and I've been going through a lot, hence the subject line.

The big Discovery "I lost it!" taping is quickly approaching and I, for one, will be thrilled when it's over and done with. I will then be sipping mango smoothies and snorkling on the crystal waters of St. Lucia. This whole Discovery show thing has been a process. I was contacted months ago, did a little online interview thingie and then about a month ago was told it was a "go". Which meant one month to get it all together..though at the time I didn't fully comprehend what that "go" entailed. The producer loved the idea of Chaz and I renewing our vows in my dream white dress that I couldn't have imagined myself in at 340 (we got married on the beach and I just couldn't get past the horror of whale jokes). So four weeks to plan a mini scale wedding, on top of planning for 3 days of 9 hour a day taping. On top of a vacation the week after already booked. Stress much? Thankfully, the recurring nightmare has finally stopped...the one where they show up at my door and tell me I'm not skinny enough to be on their show. If I knew then what I know now, would I still have agreed to do it? Yeah.

I watched the show and it's tasteful. It moved me listening to these stories of women taking possession of their bodies and transforming themselves. I'm also sick to the teeth of bariatric surgery stories. I'm tired of the media pushing this as the quick fix (?) solution. I'm angry that doctors would allow patients to gain weight in order to qualify for this procedure. And finally I'm saddened that parents think the only hope for their fat kids is to dramatically alter their future by removing portions of their stomachs. If for nothing else, my spot on that show will prove to whoever is watching that it *CAN* be done. Anything is possible. It's not easy, but anyone who tells you this surgery is easy has a bridge in London to offer you as well. My message is twofold:

1)The single most important thing I have ever done in my life and for myself has been losing this weight.

2)Believe in the possibilities.

Even if I never do another "challenge" or "diet" again... even if I never lose another freaking pound from my body, I will continue to update my site. Why? Because I'm still "here". I'm still doing it. I haven't gained any weight back, my life is 1000 fold better than it was at 340 (and continues to get better), and I couldn't in my wildest dreams ever imagine going back to that fat girl....she is but a distant memory.

I hope that I can continue to support and inspire the way so many people have done the same for me. My ultimate dream would be to somehow turn this into a career - I know I would be good at it because I believe in it with every fiber of my being.

Today I choose not to struggle (Thanks Kim!)

JeAnne

10/8/2003 05:07 pm link to this post