A long time ago in a not so far off kingdom.....
Just kidding!... Ours is more the story of a modern day love between two very old souls. Charles (AKA Chaz) and I met over the Internet in a chatroom. I had been online for awhile and met/dated several people without ever getting totally serious. I viewed meeting online about the same as meeting in a bar or club...Most of the people are average and the dates are so-so, a couple are really horrible and a couple are pretty damn good. So I had wandered into this world online to sort of test the waters and talk to some folks. I had fun, played with some people and ended up in a long distance relationship with someone in Chicago. In May of 1997, I wandered into a new channel, was bored to tears and started up a conversation with the notorious online GreyRanger. GreyRanger was to online what Don Juan was to Spain giggle. A spinner of erotic tales, a handsome knight with a handful of submissive dancing-in-diaphanous-silks women anxious to get his attention. So did he try to woo and seduce me? Did we have an afternoon of intense passionate cyber sex? Not quite...We discussed the finer points of port wine and poetry (me ee cummings and he Burns). A couple days later, I cyber "dressed up" in a public channel for him (reverse strip-show) and it caused such a stir that we both received messages from our "cyber friends/channel mates" warning each of us separately to stay away from each other grin. After all, I was dating someone and he was GreyRanger so we couldn't go there. And that's where it all began...
...although I don't want anyone to think it was a meet-by-day, engagement ring-by-night *laugh*...hardly! For the next several MONTHS, we would see each other online and talk as friends...honest. The more we got to know each other, the more we realized we had in common. During this time, I had never even considered the possibility of a relationship...After all, he was in Scotland and I was in NYC (and I thought Boston and Chicago were far away *grin*)! He came across as a little bit brooding and I knew he was a bit introverted though he tried to come off as cavalier online. But he always seemed happy to see me and to hear me prattle on about my latest adventures/escapades. I was proud (and still am) to be sort of an emotional rollercoaster, passionate wild-child, and he was an all too willful ear/pair of eyes across the monitor listening to all my drama (one of my nicknames is drama mamma). Inside I was terribly depressed: a long distance relationship that *really* wasn't what I wanted, a career that never seemed like it was going to get off the ground despite outside encouragement, a terrible relationship with my mother, and my most precious mentor/coach moving to California and away from me. Charles all too willingly listened to every single word I said and offered practical advice. At the same time I grew to learn he was also terribly lonely and depressed living with someone who didn't acknowledge his dreams, desires and passions. I gave him pop-psych 101 advice on how to deal with his online harem of girlies all looking for someone to save *them* and I distracted him (long distance cheerleader I called it) with amusing stories when he was down about home. Some time in the fall, things changed. I don't know how...it wasn't a date, time or specific moment...it just happened. What was once the "I have to meet you someday because we must have been separated at birth" turned into "Well maybe next year I could fly out or something". I won't speak for him, but I know I was starting to have serious feelings for this him and I was very afraid!! Me who had never really saw a relationship as a BIG DEAL was falling for a guy thousands of miles away who I had not even met! I grew more and more anxious to talk to him either email, online or phone...I started seriously pulling away from my relationship with the guy in Chicago knowing it wasn't right if I had all these feelings for someone else. We talked to each other all the time and finally came the words "I have to meet you because I think I love you and if I don't find out soon for sure, I'll die." *SWOON*. Words cannot express the kinds of conversations we were having ...filled with love, longing and excitement for what could possibly be. In December, I finalized my relationship and he put out any online fires that were still smoldering. We found ourselves pretty much only talking to each other outside of a channel or on the phone. We made plans in January for a meeting in February. The countdown began...
...as so did the anxiety...for both of us. What if he thinks I'm ugly? What if there's no chemistry? What if she doesn't like my pale complexion? What if .... blahbidy blah blah blah. We decided on a two week visit...long enough to hang out and spend some time, but not too long in case things were awful. But how awful could it be? This was the pair whose average phone conversation was 3 hours...whose longest was 7 hours and who saw each other every day online! We both tried to convince ourselves over and over that this was a friendship visit...I was offering him a break away from all the bad stuff happening around him, he was coming to jump start me into my new life...yeah *right*! I felt like we were some "Friends meets Perfect Strangers" sitcom spin off. I remember trying to come up with signals in case there was no chemistry. I offered my futon and told him that no matter what, we were friends and I was going to show him the best time of his life. Finally the day came and I remember taking the entire day to nervously get ready...yanno...little things that most guys don't notice...plucking eyebrows, moisturizing elbows, etc... February 12, 1998 4:30pm LaGuardia Airport. Anxious girl trying not to look impatient and anxious...nervously reading absolutely nothing in the magazine she's holding open in front of her. Standing in her black silk dress, go-go boots and makeup at the gate where the international flights exit, looking too hard and almost missing the too handsome pale faced dark haired man in jeans and white tee shirt whistling as he strolls past me *giggle*. For those of you that aren't familiar with international flights, the passengers when arriving have to clear their passports and luggage and then they walk down this runway while people on the other side of the "runway" gate are screaming and waiting and looking for their loved ones. So he spotted me and I spotted him halfway down this runway and he squeezes my hand and we're both giggly and smily and stuff. We walk down to the end of the runway our eyes never leaving the other, him inside the gate and me outside. Finally we reach the end of the gate and we hug (more like GRIP) and kiss...and kiss.... AND KISS. Big girly grins here. We stood there kissing as time stood still in the middle of everyone's way of course. When we broke the kiss, he sort of collapsed his head into my chest and said, "take me home please" in the most little boy, adorable voice. Well, *chuckle* guess we didn't have to worry about that chemistry after all....
...Seeing as we kissed from the airport to the doorway to my apartment only stopping twice - once to point out Queens and the other to get onto the elevator to my apartment. *Grin* When we got to my apartment, he regained his manly composure and we spent the evening catching up physically to where we left off mentally and spiritually. Again, words cannot describe the ability to look into someone's eyes when speaking to them after 8 months of not being able to and to finally touch someone after not being able to.... Every caress, every gesture meant something and for once, we were both without words. The next two weeks were spent taking long baths together, walking arm and arm through New York City, kissing and gazing into each other's eyes, sharing stories and experiences, and making love with wild abandon...learning our bodies and telling our souls that finally the search was over. The two weeks were over in the blink of an eye. I remember one week being over and crying hysterically that the clock was ticking...we held on. Everyone that saw us said we were special which only validated our own thoughts. The day came where he had to leave. We hadn't slept at all and the tears streamed down my face as I saw the cab coming round the corner to pick him up. He held me and told me to be his brave girl, that he would be back and that not only was I his, but he was mine body, mind and soul. I didn't tell him that I saw the tears welled up in his eyes as well when he turned in the cab to wave good bye...
I ran back into the apartment and wept wondering if that was all the true love I would ever have...the taste surely seemed to be more cruel than not knowing at all what it was like to meet your twin flame. All those tears and it was only the beginning.
He moved out of his flat just a couple days after returning home and went to go work for his sister who owned a pub/Inn in Cheltenham just outside of London. He was there exactly a month and we both came up with funds to bring him back. When he returned to NYC, March 30, 1998, he stayed for a month. It was nothing less than GLORIOUS!. More. More, more!...do I need to say anything else? We met two online friends and had a blast. We explored, loved, laughed, had fun and made plans. He wanted to be here. I wanted him to be here. It was easier for with my career in its initial stages for him to be in NYC rather than me in London. It was a better future for him to be here as he wanted to get away from catering and bar management. He applied for the MountBatten Programme, which would allow him to be in the country under a work visa for a year. We didn't want to jump into anything...we wanted time without pressure - to just enjoy each other. We wanted to know that we had more than the "vacation high"...You know how you feel when you take a break from everything and life is so terrific...euphoria! We wanted to know that we could have daily problems and get through them together, that we could have magick in the daily stuff as well as the monumental moments. We wanted to make sure that it was "real" (even though we knew). The end of the month and he had to leave again. This time was bad but not as bad as the first time because I knew deep in my heart that he was coming back. We were going to happen...we were going to be one.
June 1998: The longest time we had been apart now since meeting. At the spur of the moment (literally 24 hours), I made plans to fly out to see him for a little over a week. It was a tease.... Hardly any time at all though we did have fun. He showed me the countryside and I was able to meet his sister, her family, and his mother, which was important to me.
Shortly after I returned to NYC, we heard that he was accepted to the MountBatten Program (YIPPEE!) but he wasn't guaranteed a starting date. I wanted him with me and he wanted to be here seeing as I was going to be having surgery and some important things were coming up. He returned on July 28 and the plan was that worst case scenario he would have to go back in 3 months when the tourist visa expired. He worked his butt off (working 16 hour days) in order to come to NYC with some money. I could care less if we starved to death - we had LOVE! He finally heard from MountBatten, with a starting date of Sept 28...HE'S IN!!! I was so happy...for several reasons. We both were worried about money running out, the visa running out. Now he was here...for one entire year. For one whole year we didn't have to worry about visas, money, anything. He flew back to London to pick up his work visa and in one week was back with me. This was truly one of the happiest days in my life apart from the day we met. We knew we would spend every day together and we were especially excited about Christmas. My friends were absolutely nuts about him. I did some auditions that fall and was on a total high. I got accepted into an opera apprentice program with Des Moines Metro Opera, which was a wonderful opportunity for me to grow as an artist. I was also able to see him under work pressure and how he dealt with my singer issues. To this day I can safely say that he supports, loves and cares for me like no other.
Feb 12, 1999: The anniversary of our meeting in real life. The weekend was absolutely incredible (no stabbing or mutilation!...inside joke). He proposed and I accepted with a gushy girly flood of tears. I made reservations for The Supper Club in NYC on Valentine’s night and we danced the night away with a 14 piece swing band under the dance ball stars. We’ve laughed, fought sometimes, and all in all have had a magical year. I truly never thought that the knight in shining armor existed...mine prefers to wear old button fly Levi’s but he is my brave heart.
April 1999: Here we are now...living the life and thankful to God everyday that we have found each other. We truly believe that we are the exception and not the rule. We stand as a testament to those who do find real love online. We are making plans to have a winter into spring sorta medieval, sorta goth wedding on the beaches of Bay Head, New Jersey. I got accepted to do a 7 week opera apprentice program in Des Moines and am preparing to leave in May.
July 1999: The apprentice program was great and about one week too long. Buchbinder & Warren (Charles’ employers) surprised Charles and I with a round trip flight to Des Moines and so he came out to visit me for a long weekend. That seven weeks was the longest time that Charles and I had been apart for an entire year and it was HARD. I have learned that I can rely on him to always be there for me with advice and encouragement. I supply him with a little spice and variety as well as unending love and devotion.
The K-1 Stuff Enters In...
December 6, 1999 Charles and I file our paperwork with the INS for a fiance visa. With any luck we will be able to marry early 2000. It is now certain where we are and know where we want to go ...together.
December 22, 1999 We get our first Notice of Action in the mail dated December 15, 1999 (there's the postal service around Christmas time for ya!) Lots of excitement and a wonderful little holiday present for us. Of course now I have an automated number to obsess over and phone constantly *grin*.
December 30, 1999 Christmas was glorious...I cooked a wonderful candlelit dinner just for the two of us as we had gotten together with a bunch of friends a few days prior. Stayed up and played, laughed, talked until midnight where we opened the presents and then slept in on Christmas day. Christmas day was spent in "jammies" watching "White Christmas" and playing with toys. Here comes the good part ...and relevant point of this date! I phone the automated number and we hear that our petition has been APPROVED!! The forms were forwarded to the US Embassy in London on December 28, 1999. This is good..I honestly never thought it would happen so quickly especially over the holidays. Now we wait for an interview date. This was absolutely the best way to start the new year!
January 14, 2000 New Year's was totally incredible this year. We finally feel like we can really go forward with everything now. Chaz is in the UK waiting for his medical/interview date (come on Embassy people...what's taking so long?!?!) and he has a great job waiting for him when he gets back. We are planning on a wedding for March 25 on the beach in Bay Head, NJ...of course the invitations will not go out until we have that interview date, but we are keeping our fingers crossed.
February 2, 2000 Well all went smoothly with the Embassy in London...thank God as we booked the flight home the following morning! I met Charles at the airport and it was definately a happy reunion. I finally feel more at ease with everything as I know the rest is just a matter of time and at least we can suffer through the waiting part together. We plan to have a civil ceremony within the next week and still making plans for the big wedding in March. Charles has a job with a real estate company and so we are definately moving ahead. Life is very good and we are truly blessed.
April 1, 2000 Wow..no updates in awhile...have a little catching up to do! Chaz and I had a civil ceremony on February 8th in order to send the adjustment of status papers in quickly. I came down with walking pneumonia so it was a damn good thing we planned a big ceremony as I hardly remember the ten minute legal one! We sent in our papers the next week and are still waiting to hear on the interview date. Chaz's work authorization expires the end of the month so we are praying it's soon. It's lunacy that they give you three months from entering the country and Newark takes up to four months...are they testing us or what?! Who cares...we're together now and that's all that matters. We had the big ceremony just last week on the beach in New Jersey. It was gorgeous and I felt like a medieval princess. We are so in love that sometimes it feels my heart is going to explode it's so full. We are blessed in so many ways. Anyway....(nice segue from the mushy stuff) we plan to move in the near future and I am auditioning again so hopefully I can leave the temp desk and do what I *really* want to do. We got our first order for a website so I hope our little business goes forward.
December 10, 2000 It's truly amazing how fast time flies...especially when you are not praying for each day to pass more quickly in order to be together! Our honeymoon was in New Orleans which was absolutely incredible. I am now the poster child for the New Orleans Visitor's Bureau *grin*. There is so much to see and do and experience..of course we didn't get to do all the things we wanted to do so we are going back to celebrate our anniversary. Since I last wrote, Chaz has a new *real* job working for an environmental engineering company in NYC. He really likes it and the salary is not bad either ;) Before that he was working for slave wages with the company he did his internship with. Financially things are so much easier and it takes the previous burden off. I have done some auditioning and am really feeling that things are coming together vocally for me. I have also lost 36 pounds by joining Weight Watchers which makes me feel great. Things are so good. This weekend the tree goes up and we're looking forward to a wonderful holiday together with our kitty and our new puppy shih tzu, Angus. Our next big INS thing should be soon...they said before the end of January so I hope they are on schedule! Happy holidays to everyone.
March 4, 2001 YIPPIE!!! FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!! We finally do not have to worry about anymore INS stuff until removal of the conditional status (see "time line" for details of the Adjustment of Status Interview). It feels so good to be in the clear with all that stuff. Christmas and New Year's were both excellent, puppy is getting big and we are planning our next venture to New Orleans at the end of this month to celebrate our wedding anniversary :) Life is incredibly good at the moment. We are anxious for spring to arrive, I've been losing some weight now that I have a great support system in place and we are both starting to really plan the future. To anyone reading this, do not feel discouraged. Anything is possible with a little patience and a lot of love. Chaz and I both wish you all the best of luck in your K-1 or i130 adventures and we love getting email from you all as well so keep dropping us a line!
November 5, 2003 Holy Poop! If time keeps flying like this, we'll be old in no time :( So much has happened since I have written last. Beautiful apartment, happy puppy and wonderful lives. I've lost about 145 pounds and we had the opportunity to be filmed for a Discovery Health Show called "I lost it!" As part of the show we were to renew our vows...this time with me in the wedding "dream" dress. YEE HAA! It was a lot of work, but also a lot of fun. We celebrated the travel restriction removal by going on vacation to LeSport in St Lucia. It was unbelievable. Snorkeling and walking hand in hand on the tropical sandy beaches with the man you love. *SWOON* Everyone warned me that marriage would change everything, but I have to say it's only gotten better. Chaz and I are so darn connected and in tune with each other it's amazing. I thank the spirit guides for bringing us together and allowing us to celebrate life with each other. It's incredible. Next comes a permanent green card and naturalization..though the rocky part of the INS road is definitely behind us.
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